finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
