I skipped work to stalk him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize