Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
