ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
