She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
