this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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