Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
