if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
