wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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