hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
