Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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