I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
