There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
