some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
