so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
