i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
