I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
