If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
