Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
