Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
