So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
