Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
