There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
