I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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