so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
