I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
