Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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