and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
