What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
