Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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