Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
