you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
