And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
