we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
