I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He passed out mid-signature
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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