I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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