Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
These tits shall not be calmed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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