it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
