I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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