well most of my day revolves around power hour
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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