I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
