My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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