after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
