you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
