I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
