it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
