I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
