Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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