yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
the raccoons are back...
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