You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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