Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
