Well apparently he's into motor boating.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
