# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just tell him i said nine months
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
