Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
